The Holidays are an exciting time for everyone. Right? Well, the Holidays themselves really are lovely; Just really, for me, the looming New Year always seems to get me restless & sentimental. I know that years come together in our minds like volumes of books (RE: Encyclopedia Brittanica volumes, RIGHT?), and therefore each year, in essence, is just another volume to me. I categorize them in my mind as such, anyway. Our parents & grandparents grow older, we watch as our children- nieces, nephews, sons & daughters grow taller on the walls growth chart. We celebrate them. Cars get rusty & songs become oldies… We become an oldie.
Well, its not really so much we grow (we’re adults, so hopefully, we’ve at least accomplished all the growing we are going to do) We just do. We do get older. What is this substance, this texture- this actuality, that makes us feel older? Is it the new wrinkle we noted that popped up overnight beside our eye? You know the one- the Uhmm- so called “Crows Feet” (ewww)? Is it the knowledge of finding out some deep, dark family secret that we did not know the previous year, but are now privy to, that makes us older… act older? feel older? Perhaps, for me, its the impending (& also the current status of my oldest 2 two) teen years of my children that makes me feel “Old” the most.
Its also the regret. Its mostly the regret. I find myself regretting the actual quality time that I can’t or don’t spend with my loves. I’m actually not one to make New Years Resolutions- they never stick, lets be honest- However, in 2018 I digress and resolute to loving my loved ones a little harder, a little fiercer. Being kinder to them, and to others around me. Though, its a little more tough to be super kind to others, as it seems they are almost always eager to run you over, even when you’re going out of your way for them. But then, thats my cynicism creeping in, and that’s another foible of mine I’d like to mostly abolish. I’ve also realized that a little self-love in my life could go a long way. Who else out there needs a reminder to give yourself words of encouragement & affirmation?
Ultimately, I realize that I am in fact making resolutions for myself of sorts. But, its not entirely based on the fact that 2017 is ending & 2018 is beginning and I need or must make a resolution for resolutions sake. Its just that as this year comes to its closing ‘Volume’ , I’ve realized more than ever there’s some room for self-improvement, and what better time to change something you don’t like than when you feel the change of a season on the horizon?
Good luck to you as you work through your New Year resolutions in 2018- and remember to squeeze your loved ones a little more, smile more often at others, and be your biggest fan everyday.